A person may fast regularly and spend long hours in prayer, yet overlook the rights of those around them. Does more voluntary worship always mean greater devotion to Islam?
For someone eager to grow closer to Allah, doing less can feel like a step backwards. Yet an incident involving two companions of Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) clearly expresses why restraint can sometimes be the wiser religious choice.
The Visit That Changed Abu al-Darda’s Understanding of Worship
The Prophet (PBUH) had established a bond of brotherhood between Salman al-Farisi and Abu al-Darda (RA). Once visiting Abu al-Darda’s home, Salman noticed that his friend’s wife, Umm al-Darda, appeared poorly dressed and asked why.
She explained that her husband had little interest in worldly matters. When Abu al-Darda prepared food for Salman, he declined to eat because his brother was fasting. Salman insisted they eat together, so Abu al-Darda broke his voluntary fast.
Later that night, Abu al-Darda rose to perform additional prayers. Salman encouraged him to sleep. The same thing happened again, until the final part of the night, when Salman woke him and they prayed together.
Salman then explained that one’s own self and one’s family each have rights that must be fulfilled. When Abu al-Darda related the incident to the Prophet (PBUH), he replied: “Salman has spoken the truth.”
Thus, the Prophet (PBUH) endorsed a friend who had interrupted voluntary worship to protect neglected responsibilities.
Your Family and Your Body Have Rights, Too
Salman’s advice recognized that believers also have responsibilities towards family, health, and everyday life.
In fact, Islam teaches that voluntary prayers should not come at the expense of a spouse’s legitimate rights. Extra fasting is commendable, yet adequate nourishment and rest also matter. Likewise, caring for children and showing hospitality are genuine responsibilities, not distractions from faith.
Obligatory prayers and Ramadan fasting remain binding, subject to the concessions Islamic law provides in circumstances such as illness. So, these stories concern voluntary worship, not permission to neglect religious duties.
The Companion Who Later Wished He Had Accepted Easier Advice
A companion of the Prophet (PBUH), Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-As (RA), was known for intense devotion. He fasted during the day and prayed through the night. When the Prophet learned of his routine, he advised him to fast on some days and not others, and to make time for sleep.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) explained that his body, wife, and guests all had rights over him. He initially recommended fasting three days each month, explaining that the multiplied reward of good deeds would make it comparable to fasting throughout the year. (Sahih Bukhari)
Abdullah, confident in his strength, asked to do more, and was eventually directed towards the fast of Prophet Dawud (AS), observing alternate days.
Eventually, years later, when he had grown old, Abdullah regretted not accepting the Prophet’s gentler recommendation.
This is because a demanding routine may seem manageable today but prove difficult to sustain throughout life.
The Prophet Rejected the Idea That More Always Means Better
The Prophet (PBUH) addressed the same misunderstanding when three men asked about his worship. One planned to pray every night without sleeping, another to fast continuously, and the third to avoid marriage altogether.
These men thought their proposed routines would make them more devoted. Instead, the Prophet pointed to his own example: he fasted and broke his fast, prayed and slept, and married (Sahih al-Bukhari).
A related teaching makes the lesson even clearer. Asked which deeds Allah loves most, the Prophet described those performed consistently, even when small, and advised people not to take on more than they could manage (Sahih al-Bukhari).
A short, regular act of devotion may therefore serve a person better than an ambitious routine that soon becomes impossible to maintain.
What the Qur’an Says About Worldly Responsibilities
The Holy Qur’an also warns against losing sight of one’s responsibilities in this world. In the account of Qarun, his people urged him to seek the Hereafter through what Allah had granted him, without forgetting his rightful share of worldly life (Qur’an 28:77).
The verse belongs to a warning against Qarun’s arrogance and misuse of wealth, not an invitation to unchecked indulgence. His people also urged generosity and warned against corruption. It also recognizes that worldly responsibilities have their place.
Ultimately, earning an honest living, caring for family, and treating others generously can coexist with sincere devotion. These responsibilities need not be viewed as obstacles to faith.
Building a Routine That Strengthens Faith and Daily Life
The Prophet’s guidance offers some incredible practical ways to think about voluntary worship today:
- Protect what is obligatory. Give prescribed worship and the rights of others their proper place before adding demanding voluntary routines.
- Choose consistency over impressive targets. A manageable daily practice is more valuable than making commitments that regularly collapse.
- Notice the effects on others. If optional worship repeatedly disrupts rest, work, care, or family relationships, reconsider how it is organized.
For example, a parent might choose a shorter voluntary prayer to attend to a child, while a worker might arrange extra night worship without sacrificing needed sleep. The aim is not to reduce worship to convenience, but to practice it wisely and rationally.
In a nutshell, when Salman asked Abu al-Darda to eat, sleep, and then pray, he was not pulling his friend away from Allah. He was reminding him that faith also requires giving others their due. The Prophet’s (PBUH) approval made that lesson part of Islam’s enduring guidance – sincere worship should deepen responsibility, not displace it.
