Topic: Stressed out :(

[safiyyah]

I am 22 years old and married to a wonderful Muslim man who is wonderful and treats me really well alhamdullilah.  His parents were very accepting of us, and even married us in a simple nikkah ceremony.  I am muslim too (reverted) but my parents are Hindu brahmins and when I recently told them about him, they flipped out and do not want to accept him.  They cannot get past the fact that he is Muslim.. they won't even get to know him.  They are basically concerned with how they are going to face their family and friends and saying the words "oh, our daughter? she married a muslim guy" - i guess it's one of the worst things you can do according to hindu culture.  I was not surprised at all by their reaction, but I had hoped that they would be at least somewhat supportive.  It's stressing me out.. On top of this, I am 4 months pregnant and I don't want this hurting my baby!  I don't know how I will tell them about their grandchild. I was wondering if any of you know someone that had a marriage like mine and if the non-muslim parents ever became accepting of their marriage?  It's depressing that I might have to lose them over something like this :-(

[princess123]

WELCOME TO TAI and we are glad you came here, stay here and you will find many brothers and sisters who are willing to help you  :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

SoubHan Allah yes situations like this are very hard, especially with the added culture factor. They will find it hard to accept it sis but be patient for the sake of Allah and be happy knowing you have been guided by Allah to the straight path. May Allah guide your parents and allow them to accept your marriage.
I did know one sister who was from a hindu family and her parents were outraged especially the father who failed to accept the marriage. They refused to keep contact, but slowly things became better as they realised that their grandchild would never see them, but the father remained stubborn. May Allah guide us all

WELCOME again sis and if you need anything we are here to help as much as we can

[HafiZun]

aww ukhti, Allāh help u in this stressful itme. 'āmīn

as sister bash said be patient. be nice to them, very gentle. and try and bring ur husband round to the house if you can, maybe to see his charms they be yield. 'in shā'a-llāh, but we can understand how hard this maybe for you. Allāh help you 'āmīn. patience is the key and may Allāh grant you this. you are in our du^ās Allāh guide ur parents. 'āmīn.

[princess123]

May I also add that you need to display to them the good manners that we are taught in this religion of ours and be patient. The display of these good manners may help them to realise that the religion you have chosen is not as bad as people have made out in the press and the like.Treat your parents with respect and do not sever family ties, this is very important

This cultural thing really gets to me  its not at all religious.  :| May Allah grant us patience

[HafiZun]

'āmīn, 'āmīn. that is very true sister bash, culture is not religion, but we dont need to throw culture out the window to be religious. my shaykh says to me, "everything is Halāl unless proven to be Halāl" this means that we can do what ever culture says unless it voilates the rules of shari^ah.  i hope ur parents accept you sister, the way your are now. Allāh grant u all that your heart desires. 'āmīn

keep us in your du^ās too.

[safiyyah]

thank you for your kind words.  it seems my mother is more outraged about this than my father.  She is doing her best in trying to convince me that a Muslim marriage will never work.  She says horrible things like he can divorce you easily by saying talaq 3 times, he'll  leave you and go back to Pakistan and get married to 2 or 3 more women, he won't allow you to work or leave your house (wrong already - he is supporting me to finish my master's degree), he'll leave you when you get pregnant (wrong already - he takes care of me and takes me to all my doctor appointments), your children will grow up to be murderers, your children will never get jobs because they will have a muslim name, our families will never get along, his parents will kill you, his parents only accept you because they want us to look bad, Muslim men love to make girls like you their victim because you are the perfect candidate: innocent with a pretty face, etc. 

It hurts to hear her bad mouthing our Islam.. she doesn't understand at all..

She is also heartbroken because she said she always had dreams of throwing a big wedding for me, and now that is not possible because she won't be able to "face her family and friends".  She said, "I only have 1 daughter, how can you do this?.." "I could tolerate if you married a Jewish or Christian, but never a muslim"  :|

[suha]

a3uthu billah may Allah ease thigs for you sis safiyyah inhsaAllah..Last but not least Welcome to TAI ..wishing you all the best...

[princess123]

Ah soubHan Allah

Its your mother not your father then soubHan Allah  :|
The guilt trip is obviously to be used by her sister, in a bid to make you leave your husband and go back to them.  Stay strong and firm and be content knowing that you have done the right thing. Do you really think she would have accepted you if you were to have married a Christian or a Jew? It would still be degrading-in their eyes- for you to have married outside from their own.
It is good to know your husband is behind you. Make sure you and him learn your islamic knowledge well and implement the manners our religion teaches us, in order to be a good example to your parents.
May Allah guide her and us

[suha]

Ameen ya Allah barak Allah feeki sis Bash...wishing all the best for you sis safiyyah

[princess123]

wafikum ameen :-) :-) :-)

Indeed stay with us sis safiyyah  :-) may Allah make things easier for you

I was reminded yesterday of an important point, when one starts to learn this religion of ours we cannot expect everything to be perfect as it were. You can expect tests and we should aim to pass them in the way best way possible, for example we may be tested with a illness etc. Some people have a misconception and believe that when fulfills their obligations they HAVE to be given everything they want.
May Allah grant us patience