Osman....
A name in which i may no longer scream out from one room to another, a name in which i may no longer mock and make fun off during dispute with my bro osman, i sooo much feel like wanting to scream his name out for the last time, pretending he still lives, in some corner at home, watching T.V or playing nintendo 64, studying hard or snuggled up in bed, Praying or reciting Quran, keeping his young brothers and sister company with little infant games, or making them laugh with that funny face he made, and sounds that made my little year old brother yusif and only sister shayma choke with laughter.
Osman was so innocent and shy, extremely shy, sometimes he would blush from me, his eldest brother, little did he ask from any of us, he was soo much to himself and did so little to annoy us. He's a person in which would give up what he wanted and loved in order to make someone dear to him like his family happy, ohh how much i miss that teenage face i saw first thing at sunrise and last thing before i laid in bed asleep...yes we shared the same bedroom together, he was my companion, for so many years we slept in the same room, close to never did we ever argue, sometimes it felt like i was in my room alone........
God give me patience, for it is not easy losing someone you dearly love and share the same flesh, blood and name as yourself....
Osman is one who laughed freely and easily, who spoke of minor intimacies and common grounds, who made me and those who cared for him feel strangely liked and valued.
Like i said we shared the same room , this has meant much of my life centered around the times we spent together. Our bedroom was a room which witnessed joy, love and day-to-day experiences, birthdays, celebrations, sadness and all, allowing my bro in developing to trust me with secrets hidden, confiding what he liked and hated. We talked and laughed and as time passed by, we grew more and more dependent upon each others smile.
Me and Osman are sometimes very different regardless being brothers, and yet sometimes so much the same, however our differences in a way merge with our similarities, giving rise to something special and unique.... Friendship! a feeling which most brothers aren't lucky enough to share and experience with each other, in an age where love between some families has some what eradicated when compared to the love shared in families in the pages of history
We talked and laughed, cried , slept and ate together, we talked of all things so much i often lost count, I value most the way we talked about any thing any time any where. And each time I listened to him, each time I pondered what he said, I learn something new. About him. About me. About the world. I've learned to trust in his instincts. I love the vitality and zest that is so much a part of him. He truly was a gift, a gift to me, his family, friends and the world... however this horrible world doesn't deserve his beauty and presence, he deserves to live in a world far beautiful than this, a world in which Adam and Eve had descendant from, written a world where our Lord has said
"And their recompense shall be Paradise, and silken garments, because they were patient.
Reclining therein on raised thrones, they will see there neither the excessive heat of the sun, nor the excessive bitter cold,
And the shade thereof is close upon them, and the bunches of fruit thereof will hang low within their reach.
And amongst them will be passed round vessels of silver and cups of crystal,
Crystal-clear, made of silver. They will determine the measure thereof according to their wishes."
" And round about them will (serve) boys of everlasting youth. If you see them, you would think them scattered pearls.
And when you look there (in Paradise), you will see a delight (that cannot be imagined), and a great dominion.
Their garments will be of fine green silk, and gold embroidery. They will be adorned with bracelets of silver, and their Lord will give them a pure drink.
(And it will be said to them): "Verily, this is a reward for you, and your endeavor has been accepted "
How beautiful a life exists promised to those who do Good and Belive Correctly, may he be amongst those who were promised such a life and may we muslims join him in the hereafter...
