"inna ba3da althanni 2ithm"
"tahsinou althan yahtajou 2ila zaka2 wa 2isa2at althan you3inouka 3alayha alshaytan"
I find your post hiding a lot of frustration and anger and you think badly of a lot of Muslim men. if you read it through it seems from the first glance that you come out saying that in the case of a man with a wife looking for a second one it's either he is a monster or she is. when you said "I want to talk about let say most men this days who are searching for a new wife:
(
some men are innocent and married to monsters i know but i am talking about the ones who are not, so cool down guys i just want to make you laugh)" and you go on about your stories about these men.
you said something like :"some men are innocent and married to a monster, but I am talking about the ones who are not" who in your opinion lie in order to get a second wife.
So you don't leave any place for the people who want to get married because it is a sunnah to have more than one wife? Sheikh 3Abdullah said what means " why do you leave out this sunnah?"
All that I see in your post is anger and disappointment.
I myself have heard stories similar to what you are relating about a minority of men who lie, who usually did not learn the obligatory islamic knowledge, but you truly did not leave a place for regular people. for you it's either the first wife is truly bad, or the husband is bad. you don't mention a situation where both are good. in fact you generalise in a wrong, racist, unamicable fashion. you make a statment that either he is or she have a bad attitude towards each other, which leads to him getting a second wife.
I don't want to argue with you and I know your post is a direct response to my thread, I find arguing with people in this subject rarely leads to a result because most women who object on the second wife had a bad experience and they come out for revenge, but for your sake and everyone else on this forum please reread your post with an open mind and a truthfull conscience. A man can marry up to four wifes, not you, or the type of men you mentioned (the very few who lie), or anyone has the right to object to that. point. p o i n t. end of discussion.. Allah gave the men who fulfill the condidtions to have up to four wives. No one has the right to say anything negative about this religious fact. if you have a problem with your husband talk to him and try to solve it and if you can't live with him ask him to divorce you and let's see what you can do without a man in this tough world. Prove yourself as an independant strong person. Relieve us from your negative experiences. I have a question: Were you forced to marry this man?
Every waliy of a woman and every man they all need to examine their situation: who am I marrying or marrying my daughter to? is he or she going to treat the other in an acceptable manner? you will find that most men who lie in order to convince a woman to what they think is marriage do not have the correct belief in the first place. which means the woman and her waliy did not study his situation at all. they only thought of his money. or his position in the social and financial life. or iif he is sexy and attractive. I know about a few who have this situation. one woman once told me she wants a white skin blonde guy with blue eyes riding a Ferrari, but she didn't mention at all if he prays or if he knows halal from haram.
I'm not laughing nor amused from your uneducated post. In your dividing husbands and wifes into these two categories you totally ignored, willingly or unwillingly, the gategory where both are good.
How come the woman he is trying to make his second wife believes him? is she that simple minded? doesn't she have any life experience? believe me they know he is making stories, but he has lots of money and they see dollar signs. and how was he able to sit with her and talk about these private things? all alone ina corner? without the presence of her family? no one to protect her? what is this woman who sits with a stranger all alone and talks about his sex life?
?? or on the phone??? or chatting?
? is there no shame?
where are their values?
? she discusses his sex life with his wife, or the lack of it just like that with her father present? or between each other??? and any woman who hears a stranger talk badly about his wife needs to know that if the situation repeats itself, he will talk badly about her. that is common sense.....Women are too smart to appear as you show them in your post, as simple minded beings that you can trick into a life altering decision with an uncertain ghibah making husband.
And intercourse is an important reason to get married and lack of it is a true reason for a man to divorce. And a clear proof that having intercourse is important for men is the severe punishment that Allah has for those who have sex without being married if they do not repent from their sins. A good wife will find time, will organise her life to have 10 minutes every three days to relieve her husband and empty his sperm reserve ( I didn't want to use big words). it takes 5 minutes sometimes. 5 minutes every three days?
Is that too hard?
?? the man works 10 hours a day and gets her thousands of dollars worth of jewellery and she can't give him a quick 5 minutes intercourse every 72 hours?
?? no wonder many men are lost in this 21st century. you can watch Syrian timthiliyat and Oprah for six hours every night but sex with the husband is too much?
? some women spend hours talking to their girlfriends and making ghibah and thay can't give 5 minutes for the sake of Allah so their husbands won't look for a prostitute?
?
If your man is weak and might look elsewhere why don't you give him his medicine??? why do you leave him in need of sex?? empty his guns and leave him satisfied. it only takes five minutes.......
My reason to have a second and a third wife and a fourth one is sex. I do need a daily dose. I am not ashamed to say that it is an important part in my life. and my wife knows it.
I asked nicely that no one replies to my thread unless they are a serious contender, so you went and opened a new thread with my title and an RE: before it as a reply to me? that is just insulting my intelligence. Please do not use these ill methods. they show low self esteem.
with your post, titled ( Re: married man searching for a second wife ) you are either saying that I am a bad person or that my wife is a bad person, simply becasue I had a post titled ( married man searching for a second wife )
- go and learn the Mukhtassar instead of waisting your time -
salam
