Topic: married to an old man

[Martin]

Assalamo 3alaykom dear TAI memebers.
I would like to take your opinion about marriage between young girls and much older men who are having a big fortune, and maybe of differnet nationality.
as an example : suppose an old very wealthy man from the Gulf states proposing to a lebanese girl 30 years younger than him. would you consent to it?

[ladyrain72]

hmmm...

personally... i would not mind being married to a man much older than myself... with or without money....

i see it as an older man MAY be more understanding to the needs of his wife...

but then again.... Allah Knows Best.

[pumarage]

salam..
i think that would differ from one person to the other. And istikhara is there marv.. and as for different nationality, that is no important. the manners of the person is what counts i believe and our nationality is muslims... hopefully. and God knows best.
salam

[ladyrain72]

maasha Allah pumarage.....

yaa hala... ahlan wa sahlan.

it is true what you said yaa akhee...

nationalities should not be of any consequence...  its the manners and the heart of the person that matters most inshaa Allah...

earlier.. i didnt have the proper knowledge and al7amdulillah now i am learing slowly slowly....

for instance... for the sake of knowledge , if a man would marry me as a third or fourth wife even... and released me after the knowledge is acquired... i wld now not even think twice about saying yes....

i HAD been stupid earlier... i COULD have gotten knowledge.. that which i crave for now.

maashaa Allaahu kaana wa maa lam yasha' lam yakun.

[Anonymous]

salam
actually, this is rather a personal type of question! but i wouldn't ever marry someone for teh sake of knowledge. Marriage is mawadda wa rahmah and a true relation. not a teacher student relation or so i believe. And i don't believe a marriage that is temporary is valid in the first place. So to marry someone that he teaches u then divorces u!!! less i didn't understand what u said and so i hope. i suggest u marry someone that would respect u , trust u, treat u well and care for u and leave knowledge to be learned from ahl el 3ilm, by attending halaqas and so on. Don't attack me guys plz. look up.. personal opinion.
salam

[Anonymous]

i'm no guest!!!!! am pumarage!! my name is violated. lol.. i think the forum is depressed to negate my name like that.. i should relogin i guess

[Martin]

Ma sha2 Allah sister ladyrain
We are all craving to acquire more and more knowledge. it's the thing that keeps us going on. At a certain point of our life, some of us will understand and believe that nothing else matters really, but the love of Allah, and to submit ourselves completely to him . how can we ensure this without the real knowledge.
it's not the other trivial things in life that matter anymore.
what puma said is his opinion. but the thing that ladyrain said is real touching.
now back to our subject, what if this old man is not someone who acquired knowledge, but only seeking to add more to his wealth. what would be your opinion? is money worth it?

[ladyrain72]

dear maarviikad....

now is this man... a religiously obedient person and a good muslim?? thats my first question.

and my second question is... is he trying to qad yuqaal BUY her???

[ladyrain72]

and to reply to pumarage's aka guest'ss qns.....

yes puma u DID misunderstand me.... i am not saying i marry the man for the sake of knowledge ALONE.. subhaana Allah...

marriage in MY opinion is supposed to be one that speaks of love and caring.. something which is full of concern....  an instituition whereby two people totally understand each other... and lean on each other in times of need...

I myself have had some REALLY near misses.... there was from morocco a framer of quranic ayats... who was also a religious teacher on the side.... and THIS is the man whom i still think of ... cuz he turned my life around and POINTED ME TO THE RIGHT DIRECTION and it was because of HIM that i was looking for stuff in the Net and then found  TALLABOUTISLAM.COM.....

[Martin]

assalamu 3alaykom
to answer ladyrain i would say : no that person is not that religious person, or someone having knowledge, that we can trust as from the true ahlusunnat ( he may be a wahhabi). he's old, and rich. and he says that he's willing to care for the girl, of course by his money.
you know there are thousands of these rich saudis, kuwaitis, or qataris, who are willing to marry a young beautiful lebanese girl. may be it's a fantasy.
what saddens me is that this girl studied with us the true creed, and used to attend lessons.. i'm just wondering how would her parents accept.