Why are Palestinian boys luckier than American boys? Because every Palestinian boy will get to join a rock group!
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Islam is the TRUTH and Allah can guard it, insha-allah to any level of scrutiny. Muslims are not afraid of that I assure you. Your on the wrong track there.My point is that you do not come across as someone who is with an open mind sincerely seeking the truth. 5 years is a long time to be studying Islam as a non Muslim. In short I don't think you are genuine. Prove me wrong?No one is asking you to pretend anything. If you don't believe you don't believe. That's it. No need to be always defensive. At least you will accept that you will die one day. Then you will learn the truth but it will be too late.It's not the questions you ask that are difficult but the manner in which you ask them that open's you up for criticism. Being a non Muslim does not mean that you have to behave in such a manner. I repeat don't be defensive all the time. Ask the question and move on AND change your attitude so that Muslims will feel more cooperative towards you and feel that you are genuinely seeking enlightenment.If you are sincere, then I suggest you contact your nearest Muslim scholar and have a dialogue with him and see if that will give you the satisfactory answers you are seeking. I myself am absolutely clear about my Islamic faith and insha-allah pray that I and all the ummah die as believing Muslims.
I am glad to hear that you are trying to get back on track. I am also nearly 50 years of age and my faith has never been shaken over the past 30 years despite some tragedies. 911 was a tradegy and against Islamic teaching. These and other atrocities occur all the time and that is why there is a Day of Judgement. I would ask you not to look at this incident in terms of formulating your beliefs. You must try and be resolute in your belief. Allah asks us to pray in order to obtainn help.Seek help in patience and prayer; and truly it is hard save for the humble-minded.Qur’an - Surah al-Baqara (The Heifer) 2:45As for personal events in your like I would not ask what these are, but ask you to sincerely pray to Allah and everything will be put right insha-allah. I will pray for you.Whenever I have faced difficulties in my life I have always turned to my Creator and within a very short time everything was OK thanks to Allah Most Forgiving, Most Loving.I have written a book called 'Islam - Pure and Simple', which I am happy to email to you if you wish. My email address is azizrasul@hotmail.co.uk.