Topic: poligamy

[Zahhaad]

Bethe says:

And this bothers you because?

It bothers me because this is sex outside of marriage, which is a great sin in the judgment of God.

Bethe says:

However, I do know sex education is taught in the public school system where I live and abstinence is the primary school of thought.

This is Texas we are talking about, on the whole one of the more "conservative" states. Abstinence is certainly not the primary school a little more to the West, in California.

Bethe says:

I will never believe only my country is to blame for the problems you feel exist in today's society/world.

I also refuse to believe that, after all how could we forget about Britain, France, Germany, Holland and Sweden?

[pumarage]

Salam.. may i step into this?
guys... we're ignoring a fact here. in the 'islamic' world.. we talk about islam.. and people talk about applying islam and for this.. when honor killing took place.. i'ts islam that was blamed for it although islam has nothing to do with honor killing! yes.. i do understand what moira is saying... but moira.. this isn't islam that you mentioned.. this is cultures. many people mix between the two unfortunately. Out of suspicion, people are getting killed.. just becasue the family assumed at times that the girl has a relation with a man!!!
 
our parents or grandparents, many of them, were raised in a specific culture and it's somewhat a hard task for a person like me or u or anyone else to come and tell them now that this culture they were raised with is wrong and contradicts islam. For instance.. ,when a woman asks for a divorce... in some cases... the parents killed her.. just because she asked to get separated from a husband that she could stand no more! yes... talaq is abghath al 7alal. But at times.. divorce is the only way out of a miserable life! Culture made the chances of a divorced women to marry again is almost impossible! not islam.. but CULTURE. Culture made muslims males who came to western country chose to follow the ways of western people and commit adultry. Becuase it's the cultures that makes Marriage impossible by asking wayyyy toooo many things from the groom! They made what is 7ALAL hard... when what is 7aram 'unlawful' is easy to get which made many of the youth go do what is haram! So people followed the haram and left the 7alal.
as for having more than one wife... there is something very important to put in mind here about that. first.. jealousy is a normal thing. the wives of the prophet peace be upon him who were superiour than us were jealous from each others! and this was stated clearly by Aisha may Allah be pleased with her. She was jealous from Khadija may Allah be pleased with her although Khadija had passed away by then. but knowing how much the prophet salla Allah 3alayhi wasallam loved Khadija made her feel jealous from her although she's dead. So this is a normal thing. I believe jealousy means caring and love. But whatever exceeds the limit turns bad.
and one last thing... a man was ordered to be fair between his wives... if he won't be.. then he shouldn't marry more than one. Allah said in the qur'an what means that if you fear that you won't be fair among yourwives.. then marry but one.
if i said anything right then it's from the help of Allah.. and whatever wrong i said is from myself and Shaytan.
Subhanaka Allahumma wabihamdik, ash-hadu an laaa ilaha illaa ant. Astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.
finally..... salam.  :lol:

[Anonymous]

"but moira.. this isn't islam that you mentioned.. this is cultures"

pumarage, I think that's a good point. I was quite volatile (who? me? :lol:  :lol: ) in the beginning of this discussion because I had just finished reading that book I mentioned, and because there was another case in my country of a family attempting to honor kill another young girl by shooting at a car she was travelling in. Not only did they try to kill her but there were many innocent people in the area at the time, including children who could have been hurt or killed by stray bullets.  :x  :x

Just out of curiosity, which Muslim countries practice polygamy as a "normal" cultural norm? Are there some Muslim countries that do not practice it at all?

Is it correct to say that it is a small minority of Muslims who practice it today?
Moira

[Servant of Islam]

"Just out of curiosity, which Muslim countries practice polygamy as a "normal" cultural norm? Are there some Muslim countries that do not practice it at all?

I didn't hear that there is an Islamic country where no one practices this.

Is it correct to say that it is a small minority of Muslims who practice it today?

Yes, that's correct Moira.

[Ismatudeen]

I am kind of late..but just wanted to say. Men are different from women, we all need to accept that.  The creator knows what's best for us period.  Now, If a woman thinks she can't bear that her husband be with someone else, maybe she can't talk to him openly about that, instead of wanting to change judgements in religion. People are different, feel differently, people change too.  Let's not worry about that too much. There is too much to worry about in our lives, right?

[Servant of Islam]

People are different, feel differently, people change too. Let's not worry about that too much. There is too much to worry about in our lives, right?

Right dear sister, may Allah bless you :hearts2

[Bethe57]

Bethe says:

And this bothers you because?

It bothers me because this is sex outside of marriage, which is a great sin in the judgment of God </quote>

I agree, adultery is wrong, how much of a "sin" it is, well, I guess that would be relative to how one's belief system works.  I just do not want folks thinking that adultery is a concept from western culture.....it's everywhere, in every part of the world and frankly, it just isn't my business.

Bethe said:

However, I do know sex education is taught in the public school system where I live and abstinence is the primary school of thought.

This is Texas we are talking about, on the whole one of the more "conservative" states. Abstinence is certainly not the primary school a little more to the West, in California.

I don't know that I would say Texas is conservative; depends on the issue.  I have no clue and would not presume to speak regarding another state in which I do not live.

Bethe says:

I will never believe only my country is to blame for the problems you feel exist in today's society/world.

I also refuse to believe that, after all how could we forget about Britain, France, Germany, Holland and Sweden?

What do these countries have to do with my country?  We were specifically speaking of America....why did you bring Europe into the mix?

[pumarage]

Salam.

Is it correct to say that it is a small minority of Muslims who practice it today?

yes.. it is correct.. there isn't many people who practice this anymore.. but again.. in some places.. you'll find people practicing it alot. WELL... you asked me as to where is this practiced somewhat more often.. and i can tell it is so in the middle east area and it's unfortunate because many don't apply it the right way when they get married to several wives where at times some men almost abandon their 'older' wives! which is islamically forbidden and they're sinners for doing so... ...

i know what you mean.. and i hate cultures as much as u do. It's filthy and disgausting and very cruel. But unfortunately, there are many people who exchanged their religion with culture... or with what they love more although it could be wrong! u know what i mean?

I just do not want folks thinking that adultery is a concept from western culture.....it's everywhere, in every part of the world and frankly, it just isn't my business.

no it's not a concept from the western culture alone. i'ts in every single country around the world. At least they commit such sin in western countries but they don't make it part of a religion. Unfortunately.. some 'muslim' groups included adultry as a part of their religion.. but gave it a different name! THAT is a major problem i find.

salam

[Zahhaad]

Servant said:

I didn't hear that there is an Islamic country where no one practices this.

Moira wrote:
Is it correct to say that it is a small minority of Muslims who practice it today?

Yes, that's correct Moira.

The reason its a small minority practising it is not because most Muslims don't want to, it is because they know that they can't afford it.

[Zahhaad]

Pumarage said:

"Unfortunately.. some 'muslim' groups included adultry as a part of their religion.. but gave it a different name! THAT is a major problem i find. "

What the HECK are you talking about?