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Author Topic: Marriage..please Help  (Read 2697 times)

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Offline Aysha

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Marriage..please Help
« on: Tuesday 03 June 2003, 10:19 »
Salam all,

Can anyone please help me with my confusion..going through a phase of depression, hope brothers and sisters out there can answer my question.
I am looking for a practising brother for marriage, however when i get introduced to someone, nothing seems to go ahead properly, if i tend to like someone the guy dsnt seem to like me, vice versa.
Last year i met up with someone, my ideal guy, strong religious background, everything went okay. Then i started acusing him of certain things, when he didnt call me etc id say alsorts to him, he felt that i wasnt the person he wants to marry..therefore he dosnt want to go ahead with marriage..but then did i realise i liked him..which was very peculiar for a person like me..i was being obsessive calling him continiuosly, i dnt know why i did all this....but i cant get him out of my head its been over a year now, i even dont want to know about any other proposals i get...was he not written down for me, (taqdeer)....i dont know why my prayers arnt being answered by allah (swt)...at first that guy did like me..do you think if his written for me he will come no matter wat!

Thank you.
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Offline Servant of Islam

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Marriage..please Help
« Reply #1 on: Wednesday 04 June 2003, 04:31 »
My dear sister....

First, remember that what's menat to be shall be, and what's not meant to be shall not be.

I think that if you found someone in thsi life that you truely love, and want to spend the rest of your life with, go ahead and do what's gonna make you happy in shaa Allah...

But if that's not possible anymore, if it's really hard to make things like before, dont just stay and wait, maybe there is a best man who's waiting, you can never know, go ahead and give it a try...

you know better about this sis, if the chance of continuing with this guy is small, dont let days and months pass while you're waiting...

My best wishes for you sis, may Allah give you what you want and what's the best for you.

Welcome in TalkAboutIslam (F)

PS: your thread now is in the "Women in Islam" Forum.
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Offline HIPPYGIRL

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Marriage..please Help
« Reply #2 on: Friday 06 June 2003, 06:29 »
Asalaamu ^Alaykum,

 I agree with sister Servant of Islam, whilst your behaviour may or may not have put this man off, it is understandable and in the past, please do not, it could be said, 'beat yourself up about it' I am sure if this man is not for you, then someone better will come along.  I know it is hard but you can 'train' yourself to trust in Allah and not become attached to a brother before marriage, I learnt the hard way this is what I have to do because I have been hurt many times.  You have to trust completely in Allah and believe that Allah will bring the right man when YOU are ready as judged by His eternal WISDOM,

Ma'asalaama Sophie x :D
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Offline Mouyasar_17

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Re: Marriage..please Help
« Reply #3 on: Tuesday 30 September 2003, 07:36 »
Quote from: Aysha
Salam all,

Can anyone please help me with my confusion..going through a phase of depression, hope brothers and sisters out there can answer my question.
I am looking for a practising brother for marriage, however when i get introduced to someone, nothing seems to go ahead properly, if i tend to like someone the guy dsnt seem to like me, vice versa.
Last year i met up with someone, my ideal guy, strong religious background, everything went okay. Then i started acusing him of certain things, when he didnt call me etc id say alsorts to him, he felt that i wasnt the person he wants to marry..therefore he dosnt want to go ahead with marriage..but then did i realise i liked him..which was very peculiar for a person like me..i was being obsessive calling him continiuosly, i dnt know why i did all this....but i cant get him out of my head its been over a year now, i even dont want to know about any other proposals i get...was he not written down for me, (taqdeer)....i dont know why my prayers arnt being answered by allah (swt)...at first that guy did like me..do you think if his written for me he will come no matter wat!

Thank you.


Interesting topic!!
Go on brothers and sisters,have a read!!
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Offline ABDU

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Marriage..please Help
« Reply #4 on: Tuesday 30 September 2003, 11:39 »
yes it is interesting, thanks mouyassar for your invitation to read it .....
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Offline Mouyasar_17

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Marriage..please Help
« Reply #5 on: Wednesday 01 October 2003, 06:57 »
Your welcome Abdu,anytime my dear :) :)
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Offline loreesp

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Marriage..please Help
« Reply #6 on: Thursday 02 October 2003, 00:07 »
Salam sister :)

My dearest sister wellim really sorry that you have pass hard time but sis you must undertand that any thing will move if allah dosent want too you must pray and ask for his guide ... and i will give you one advice as your sister and a grow women ... DONT CALL GUYS sis , man like to be the one call and the one look for the lady .. when the women take the control over the man lose his interest on it !! hugs sis and i wish you the best !! Dont RUSH you still on time to find the perfect mate!! inshallah ya rab!!
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Offline Mouyasar_17

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Marriage..please Help
« Reply #7 on: Thursday 02 October 2003, 08:01 »
Quote from: loreesp
when the women take the control over the man lose his interest on it


Subhan Allah..
Thats true,many men do loose interest in a women like that,thats if she has that kind :o  of personality!!
 :)  :)
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Offline loreesp

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Marriage..please Help
« Reply #8 on: Thursday 02 October 2003, 20:04 »
It is just a man thing , all man like to have the control over the situations :) and thats fine for me now LOL when i was younger i was like no way !! i have my rights 2 we are equal LOL but now i say meshe !! do it and i dont get complicated any more .... i think that with the age ( im not that old ) you start like living your life easyly then before ... but is true MAN like to have the control SISTERS is nice belive me!! :)
when i was enganed to my husband ( mashaallah ) what a nice time !! you know i usto call him he was in Canada and i was living in New York and some times he dont call me i was mad and i call him and ask him why you dont call me ?? and he usto respond Lorena im working, i was going to call you tonight ... but after we get married he told me the true ... he told me that he didnt like me to call him , he told me the calls are like guy thing ....i hope this helps :)  
hugs!!
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Offline ahmad-dahab-shiil

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Re: Marriage..please Help
« Reply #9 on: Saturday 04 October 2003, 10:31 »
Quote from: Aysha
Salam all,

Can anyone please help me with my confusion..going through a phase of depression, hope brothers and sisters out there can answer my question.
I am looking for a practising brother for marriage, however when i get introduced to someone, nothing seems to go ahead properly, if i tend to like someone the guy dsnt seem to like me, vice versa.
Last year i met up with someone, my ideal guy, strong religious background, everything went okay. Then i started acusing him of certain things, when he didnt call me etc id say alsorts to him, he felt that i wasnt the person he wants to marry..therefore he dosnt want to go ahead with marriage..but then did i realise i liked him..which was very peculiar for a person like me..i was being obsessive calling him continiuosly, i dnt know why i did all this....but i cant get him out of my head its been over a year now, i even dont want to know about any other proposals i get...was he not written down for me, (taqdeer)....i dont know why my prayers arnt being answered by allah (swt)...at first that guy did like me..do you think if his written for me he will come no matter wat!

Thank you.


it sounds like i could have been that guy! loool

im not even kidding
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