Topic: A Muslimah's Conduct.

[ladyrain72]

Can Anyone Please Tell me, How a Muslimah  :sis1   Should Conduct Herself, to be seen as CHASTE[/i] in the eyes of the Public??

And how does she PROTECT herself AND her Partner/Lover/Companion/Fiance :bro1 from doing WRONG[/i]   :ha   so that they will NOT end up in the Fires of Jahannam??     :notme :woops  

I am just LEARNING... and I am soo worried that I will do WRONG.  :$  :argh

Somebody... Please , pleeeeeaaaassee answer... if you know.. or at least guide me to a proper thread that addresses such topics.

[Zahedah]

Dear Sister Ladyrain72 :hearts2,

Originally posted by Ladyrain72
I am just LEARNING... and I am soo worried that I will do WRONG.  :$  :argh

Ma sha'a Allah it is wonderful that you are eager :yippee  to learn because when we learn theIslamic Obligatory Knowledge, we know what obligations  we must fulfill :hmp1 and what sins we must abstain from :no2.

I strongly encourage you to join us on The Call of Knowledge or to send me a pm and in sha'a Allah I can give you online lessons just between the two of us. :lia

But for now to answer your question...why don't you check out  what a man wants and what a man needs ? ;-) [/color]  
 [/B]

[Sweetheart]

Can Anyone Please Tell me, How a Muslimah  :sis1   Should Conduct Herself, to be seen as CHASTE[/i] in the eyes of the Public??

Yes that is easy insha' Allah i will begin to tell you and maybe others add to it.

Please note when i use the word 'must' im refering here to an obligation. otherwise i will use the 'should' to mean preferably.

All the following applies to the accountable female. :sis1

Her eyes  :woops
A female must not gaze at the forbidden body part of another marriagable man whether even if its without a desire. She must  not gaze at any part of the marriageable man (ie. the face) with desire. If she looks at him for a purpose as to conclude a sale or any other needed communication, she should try and not look into his eyes.


Her voice
A female must not use her voice in an alluring way with men. She can talk with men but without the whinning and unneccessarily feminine change of tone that some unethical women use to refer to desire.  Speak with a serious manner and with purpose and benefit. Any speaach that is alluring or intimate or intends to play on lust is a sin.

Her walk
A female must not sway as she walks publically. Swaying is a way to attract attention and it communicates a desire to fulfill desire. A women should walk in a modest manner, with lowered gaze and looking towards her next step when possible.

Her dress
A woman must cover all herself except her face and hands. She should wear loose gowns in public and prefereably not be too colorful as to attract attention. Once the prophet entered his home and found that two of his wives were busy dieing a gown red. He left the room unimpressed and from that his wives new that the prophet is not pleased by such a display of color .

Her wherabouts
A woman is best to stay in her home as much as possible. The prophet did warn that when a woman leaves her home, she is more prone to the inspirations of the devil. To protect herself and society from such corruption, she is best to stay home. Her home is the best place for her and she will be closer to piety therein.

Her scent
A women must not use fragrances with the intention to attract men. She can use fragrance without that intention because LAdy ^aisha did so in one of the pilgrimage she made with the proohet. She applied musk on her forehead before the ihram and when the prophet saw it running down her forehead he did not object. But to put it with the intention of lureing men to her is a sin.

Her company
A woman must not be alone with a marriageable man in isolation. She can be in the same room as other men and women providing she is not alone in isolation with one man. When she is mixing with men, it has to be with good reason, not just for the sole reason of having pleasure in their company. At least a third pubescnet or discriminating person has to be present even if he is teaching her the quran. The prophet warned that when a man and woman are in isolation, the devil will surely be their third even if they gathere to teach and learn the quran.

Thses are some of the ways a woman in Islam displays her chaste character and manner.  :sis1

I cant remember anything else at this point but if anyone else can help increase this list by proof, please do.

Originally posted by ladyrain72
And how does she PROTECT herself AND her Partner/Lover/Companion/Fiance :bro1 from doing WRONG[/i]   :ha   so that they will NOT end up in the Fires of Jahannam??     :notme :woops   [/color]

You scare me Ladyrain :what??
In Islam we dont have lovers!! full stop.  :woops
Love is always a delicate issue to deal with. It is not a sin to love because it is a feeling born in the heart that one cannot control. But how you deal with it is something you are accountable to. To love someone for marriage purposes is fine providing you stay within the limits of Islam talked about above untill you get married. So your relationship with your husband-to-be is treated like any other encounter you may have with a marriageable person untill you are married to him, at which time you become his right.

On the other hand to love someone (or as you put it  :kewl 'lover') with no ambition or potention of marriage, is a difficul situation because its hard to escape falling into sin. This can be in as little as a word spoken out of order, or a meeting in isolation even if you dont touch or even a tempting gaze :notme .  

Originally posted by ladyrain72
I am just LEARNING... and I am soo worried that I will do WRONG.  :$  :argh

Follow these guidelines and you will be ok insha' Allah. But please get married asap. It's alot more satisfying on the soul than any uncertain love outside marriage which causes emotional trauma and may even paralyse your good judgement.  

Originally posted by ladyrain72
Somebody... Please , pleeeeeaaaassee answer... if you know.. or at least guide me to a proper thread that addresses such topics.

Have i helped you??  ;-)

[ladyrain72]

Dear Sister Ladyrain72 :hearts2,

I strongly encourage you to join us on The Call of Knowledge or to send me a pm and in sha'a Allah I can give you online lessons just between the two of us. :lia
 

I will do this soon, Ya Zahedah!!  PM you i mean....

Your interest in me is soo heartening... but for now, i will take a printout of the sites you have given me and pore over it first...

Alhamdulillah I have many to guide me..  :applause2

[ladyrain72]

You scare me Ladyrain :what??
In Islam we dont have lovers!! full stop.  :woops

Have i helped you??  ;-)

LOOOOL!!! I am afraid you have misunderstood me, Ya sweet!

pls chck your PM............    :hearts2

and yeeeeeessssssss.... you have helped me.... and so has Sister Zahedah!!

[Sweetheart]

i dont have a pm from you

[Zahedah]

You are very welcome sweety :yippee It has been so wonderful meeting you :bh1  :bh1  :bh1

I hope I will get your pm soon ;-)

[ladyrain72]

6 hours has passed, ya sweet... do you have my pm yet??

Dont worry sweet:bh1 ... in my eyes whatever you will say will NEVER be wrong, for I know that what you say is ultimately for the good of MY learning, na??   :hmp1

now... WHEN are we having (C) Sister Zahedah??? are you listening?? you MUST come too... I have taken prints of the beautiful pages you have highlighted for my sake....

I thank you kindly!  :hearts2

I KNOW i will learn well, with you both... I will PM you soon Zahedah...

I have a problem.... a friend i have ( I SEE HIM AS A FRIEND ONLY ) likes to tag endearment when he addresses me...  I expressed my distress    :no2      

and he asked me WHERE in the Quran it says that we should not address friends with endearment... !

i REALLY dont like it, ( and he is muslim too!  :what?? ) but he STILL calls me these things... and when i express my ANGER, he does it MORE! how do i get the message across to him :cwt  ... i dont want to be the person, who will advocate things like this and finally end up as firewood in Jahannam....  :no2

[Zahedah]

Dear Sister Ladyrain72 :hearts2,

If he was your friend he would respect your wishes.

There is a limit that cannot be crossed :no2 ....if you look around the forum you see that some brothers may call sisters "dear sister" and we say to eachother that we love one anotherand it is always made clear that when such a statement is made it is for the sake of Allah.  We are working hard together for paradise and make looooooooooooots of supplications for each other.  

But if someone is crossing the line, and won't listen to your concerns (In fact only increases)....there is something called...BLOCK :trouble.

We have it in our emails, instant messengers, chat rooms, phones even....can u find it sister Ladyrain72??? :woops

Don't let his indecencies make your self esteem sufferor doubt your values and morals.  Be proud of yourself for not tolerating such behaviour.

[ladyrain72]

i DID threaten to block him...

he was ok for awhile and started again... i REALLY dont know what to do.. :-(  I even called my mother and cried..... She said the same thing as you are suggesting.

:-(

Its sad how a good friendship turns sour when ONE does not respect the feelings of the other.

Sister Zahedah ..  i tried pm - ing you.. but you are full.