Topic: why are people angry

[The Full Moon]

Dear readers

Have you noticed that people are angry these days. The way they answer the phone, or drive or answer a question as if you have accused them of a crime.

No one wants to give others any excuses. It used to be that even when someone upset with a co-workers they will push it a side and co-operate to finish the job.

Now, people are confronting each other on every word on every action.. there blood is boiling and you can hear it in their words, gestures, and actions.

Have we all forgot the word patience. Taking a deep breath and re-evaluate the situation and show positive reaction.. do not let the negative prevail.

At home, the father is screaming and the mother is fed up, the brother is putting his sister down, and the girl wants to be out at any cost and to  find away not to come back to a home full of toxic feelings, actions and reactions. And when she moves into her own home she takes some of these toxic feelings with her....

Every where it has been clear that marriages are breaking, or not even happening in the first place. what is happening ? Peoples are not clear when they are entering into these marriages.. Each one of them is having their own fantasy where each one of their needs are going to be met and the other person is there to make it happen!

At work we can not wait to get the job at any price because we have these expectations that everything is going to be fantasy where everyone will like you and appreciate you and be fair to you and instead you face a reality they want more and more of you for each dollar you feel they are taking out your blood in return.. and you stay.. but you are angry and it shows.....

It is very obvious that each person is looking for a deal where he is getting his needs met. It is what you get out of these deals. I wish we can be more honest and each one enter into these relations professional or personal with a clear defined expectations.. I want you to give me... and what do you want in return? OK we have a deal or not.

Do you think that being more blunt and obvious can solve our problems. Can we be more pleasant and show courtesy to each other and treat people the same way we want to be treated.

 

[Akbar]

People are easy to get upset when they are under the constant stress. Actually I noticed that I was easily getting nervous when I had tight schedule and to many deadlines to be met

Dealing with others  you have to evaluate the situation. Some people do not understand when you are soft and polite. Your courtesy might be considered as weakness.

[The Full Moon]

Dear Akbar

I wanted to find out what and when did we change to become easily upset and reaching our boiling point in no time flat.

I can see this very clearly at home, at work, on the streets, during shopping, at schools..... Why?

[Akbar]

I do not know when this change did happen.  I am not sure that there is someone who can give the exact answer.

[The Full Moon]

Dear Akbar

I agree, but what can we do to fight it. I am trying to keep a smile and limit my anger to one minute and then smile. Trying to connect with people and show sincere interest in them and their affairs. We should care about each others, so we regain our compassion.

Regards

[Akbar]

It is hard to believe that there is no such community where one could find harmony and care about each other.

[The Full Moon]

Dear Akbar

Kindly tell me how do you act when you are frustrated with irrational people, the pushy ones, the rude ones, and the ones who are trying to prof that you are wrong no matter what you say and they are always right.

I like to learn from others and maybe others will read your post and learn form you too.

salam

[Akbar]

You are talking about two kind of persons, the rude ones, pushy ones and those who trying to prove smth to you like you are wrong even they know that you right. The rude ones usually do not try to prove anything.

The rude ones. I will not be teaching them the moral. This will not work definitely. You should show smth so he would start to respect you or awfully fear you. Some trying to be as much as three time rude or more pushy. I do knot know if this is correct.

the ones who are trying to prof that you are wrong no matter what you say and they are always right. I would not waste my time dealing with him proving smth to him.

In general

One has to ensure that he is physically safe.

You have to think of if you meet and deal with this person systematically or just you met him once and you will not see him anymore ( in this case just try to disregard him).

If it is systematic matter, think how to deal with him at home. You will definitely find how to deal, because in general society does not tolerate this kind of people.
 
I will try not to waste my time for both kind. There are always some other nice things to do.

[The Full Moon]

Dear Akbar

I do understand your points of view. And it make all the sense in the word. But sometimes it is not practical if you are dealing with a family member of a work colleague.

In these cases we do have to find a way to communicate (in harmony). Finding a way sometimes fall completely on you.
There are some cases where you will reach the end of your rope, and you would like to squeeze some sense to them but nothing works except giving up, it makes me very sad.

As for the society, unfortunately; these days it does tolerate it and sometime encourage it by the name freedom of speech or the right to express themselves without being intimidated....

The values of the societies has changed and rudeness is becoming the norm. Politeness is becoming a rare quality.

I am holding to hopes that if we keep on showing it to all maybe it will robe on them oneday.

salam

[Akbar]

Let me disagree with you in this case. Actually what I put there is very practical. Let me put them again:

1. One has to ensure that he is physically safe.

2. You have to think of if you meet and deal with this person systematically or just you met him once and you will not see him anymore

     2.A if it is not systematic, in this case just try to disregard him.

      2.B If it is systematic matter, think how to deal with him at home ( I meant calmly, easily with fresh
         head). You will definitely find how to deal, because in general society does not tolerate this kind of
          people.
 

3. I will try not to waste my time for both kind. There are always some other nice things to do.



The cases you describe (family member of you colleague) fall under category 2.B. 

Actually the points are useful because they are general and logical.


I do not understand why you should prove smth to or convince a family member of your colleague.

Regarding other points you raised there, I see confusion when you deal with concept rudeness. 

The behavior you consider as rude, someoneelse might consider as normal. Your behavior might be considered as rude while you think it is normal. A family member of your colleague might consider you as rude when you try to argue with him.

Why do you think you are not rude. You can not say that you are not completely rude.

When someone is punished for his crime, do you think it is rude to punish him.

So conclusion is  that different people understand rudeness differently, it also differs when time passess.

Concept “rudeness” falls under category “Fuzzy concept”. There is fuzzy set theory in Math. “Fuzzy  set theory ” is tool for this kind of concepts. Main idea in fuzzy set theory is partial membership.

It is like someone is very rude, He might be considered as 95% of completely rudeness
Let us say you are very kind and only in very rare cases you show rudeness. So your rudeness is only 1% which is close to completely not rude. So we say that you are not rude.

There are different kind of uncertainties. When people do not know that something might happen or not happen, usually statistical, probabilistic models are used. When it comes to perception different concepts, the fuzzy set theory models are used.

I would say, fuzzy set theory is one of advanced theories. Do search in web and you will find many applications.

It is also widely used in artificial intellect modeling ( brain modeling) together with nueral network, parallel computing system. It has wide application in military control system (like unmanned aircrafts). Useful and in handy when you have very limited information and you have to take right decision.