Hi Full Moon,
Jesus made it very clear to his followers they were to love. This is what one of them said, and we believe their writtings as being inspired by God.
Rom 12:18-21 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will cause him to change his mind." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
So a christian is not to take revenge on people. And like I said if they were persicuted they were commanded to flee not fight. But you mentioned some times God does allow people to be killed, but he knows when that is needed, but it should not be a desired lifestyle for a christian. For a christian it falls under the above verse "We are not to take revenge", note it says "If possible as much as depends upon you live at peace with all men", the emphisis for a christian is love, which causes us to not want to harm people, and we should have more hope in God's life changing power than physical weapons of war. But there are times when a nation may rise up against ours, and in that circumstance we would be justified in protecting our families from harm, but not in conquest to take new lands in the name of our religion. There would be instances where oppression was so bad that a war was needed to remove a tyrant, you can't just sit back an allow people to harm others, but even then it should not be the first option on our mind. In our religion we would not invade another country or people group just becasue they held a different belief, or it should never occur if they followed the commands of Jesus.
The question I have for you is what problem do you have with loving? Why is it so important to convince me that killing is of God. Jesus never once asked his disciples to kill any one, he stressed time and time again to love their enemies, God only ever sent his people to war with nations who had abandoned an attitude of compassion, as I said there are some tyrants, but he said false prophets would arise after him and decieve many but he said don't believe them. He said he was the Christ, the final messiah.
if anyone says to you, 'Look, here is the Christ!' or, 'There he is!' do not believe it...For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect—if that were possible. "So if anyone tells you, 'There he is, out in the desert,' do not go out; ... do not believe it. - Mat 24:23-26